Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
high people should be assigned attendants
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
