Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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