I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
