Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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