walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
