i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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