In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
