i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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