so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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