maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is wine microwaveable?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
