I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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