i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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