I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
