At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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