I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
