She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
