I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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