What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I need a burrito and a hug.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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