I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
