he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
