she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
