Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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