Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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