I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
