She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize