Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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