he shaved USA in his pubs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
