dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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