i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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