I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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