Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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