I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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