Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
