You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
