i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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