Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't turn off my feet"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
