Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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