So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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