oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
COCAINE IS GR8
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize