if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
