Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize