is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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