dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we're so committed to being not committed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
