Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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