You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
