hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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