Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize