I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
