Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
