Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
