he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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