Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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