Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
