dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
