I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
