My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
