Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
