You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize