So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
