Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
