im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
